Trouble on Sun-side — Edition Insights

Pursuit in Plain Sight

The middle excerpt shows Jansen actively hunted. His tail, a bigger man in colorful shorts, blends into the crowd of loungers and shoppers, all wearing identical insulsuits and skull-cap cowls. Jansen's attempt to confront the man is interrupted by the sun going down—a sudden, disorienting event that underscores the alien environment. The chase escalates when Jansen impersonates a bodyguard, punches a guard, and steals a hand-blaster. These scenes are lean: each action moves the plot forward without lingering on description.

Sub-Space and Sudden Reversals

The later excerpt accelerates into sub-space travel. Jansen commandeers a booth, fights a guard, and emerges a hundred thousand miles away to find Bareen holding a blaster on Wendy Hilliard. The dialogue is terse: "... to kill you now." Jansen's response—firing at the booth controls rather than at Bareen—shows a tactical mind. The excerpt ends mid-sentence, leaving the reader in suspense. Tenneshaw uses sub-space as a plot device that collapses distance, but the physical struggle remains grounded in hand-to-hand combat and blaster fire.

Voice and Structure

Tenneshaw's prose is direct, favoring short sentences and action verbs. Internal thoughts are italicized and brief: I have to hurry. Dialogue carries exposition naturally—"What's your rating?" "Twelve"—and reveals social hierarchy without explanation. The structure is episodic: Jansen arrives, is followed, fights, chases, and is transported. Each scene ends with a new complication. The excerpts lack any reflective pause; the narrative is all forward motion, driven by Jansen's single-minded goal to find Bareen.

Setting as Obstacle

Mercury's twilight zone is not a backdrop but an active constraint. The sun's glare, the need for insulsuits, the sudden sunset—all force Jansen to adapt. The "bogs" are mentioned but not described, leaving their nature mysterious. The irrigation station and sub-space tunnel are functional spaces, not marvels. Tenneshaw treats the environment as something to be endured and exploited, not admired. This pragmatic approach keeps the focus on Jansen's predicament rather than on world-building for its own sake.

These excerpts suggest a story that rewards attention to small details: the rating system, the casual mention of bogs, the way characters use sub-space as a shortcut. Readers may find that the tension lies not in the destination but in the series of physical confrontations and narrow escapes. The incomplete ending in the provided text leaves Bareen's motives and Wendy's role unclear, but the pattern of action implies that Jansen will continue to rely on improvisation and force.